I believe that it is so important for all of us to know how to be be alone; comfortably alone. It’s good for our mental health, our growth, our sense of balance, and resilience.
Think about it, you can’t always have someone around. You can’t depend too heavily on others. You need to be able to be alone at times in this world.
Being comfortable alone means:
- You trust yourself
- You’re independent
- You can self entertain
- You can tackle the world
- You can get to know yourself
- You can do you
- You love yourself
If you’re on the other side, and you’re not comfortable being alone, you run the risk of:
- Depending on others
- Losing the self
- Going along with others
- Not self-serving
- Staying in or entering bad relationships
- Not growing or changing
This is why I think we all could do with learning how to be comfortable and happy alone. I, for one, love my alone time. I prefer it. Yes, I’m introverted so this comes more naturally to me, but being alone means I can watch what I want, enjoy the quiet, read, write, learn, and just be me for me.
It’s wonderful. I’m my own best friend.
So, what are some things you can do to try to become more comfortable with being alone?
- Write a list of films or tv shows that you really want to watch. Then keep the list handy for your alone time, ready to enjoy by yourself.
- Do the same with books. Books are the best thing to entertain yourself with when you’re alone. The characters will keep you company and you’ll become so interested in the book that time will pass and you’ll not realise!
- Have your favourite food lined up to eat that day.
- Have a to-do list and tick it off.
- Whatever you hobby is or fun thing is (mine is writing) have that handy so that you can do it when you have some alone time.
- Get comfortable, literally. I find that getting a blanket and good cushions and a hot beverage does wonders in making alone time so special and enjoyable.
- Do some pampering: bath, face mask, nails, incense, foot massager, moisturise – go crazy!
- Be creative or do a hands-on task. Being busy works when you’re alone, it’s the being bored that makes you feel lonely. So, be busy. Do something!
If you do these things routinely, you’ll become comfortable being alone without even realising it. Schedule time to do these things alone, don’t just do them because people are busy and you’re forced to – it won’t work that way and you’ll feel lonely and rejected instead.
The important thing to remember is that being lonely and being alone are two very different things. Being alone it good, being lonely is not. I’ve been very lonely in a crowd before; loneliness doesn’t mean the absence of people.
For me, being lonely is feeling completely outside of everything.
So, when you’re alone you can be a part of things. You can dive into worlds with books or films. You can create and be productive. You can just enjoy yourself for the awesome person that you are! And you should give that to yourself; you deserve it.
When you’re alone, you realise what you’re worth. You realise how great time to yourself can be doing what you actually want to do without trying to live up to a standard. You can discover yourself.
Discover who you really are when no one is watching.
Scary, I know, but healthy. Scary, but freeing. Scary, but necessary.
For in crowds, we get lost. In crowds, we become sheep. In crowds, our voices aren’t heard. In crowds, we don’t shine.
Step aside, let them go, and stand tall – alone.
Work out solo.
Be entertained solo.
Yes, we need people. Yes, people are good. But so is being alone.
Find that balance.