I’ve heard this many times before. What problems could you have? You should be grateful. You have it easy. You’re 23, living at home with your partner and dog, have a supportive family who let you try for your dream while contributing little financially.
What problems could you possibly have?
And yes, sometimes I put my “problems” into perspective by realising that I have a lot to be grateful for and that many others have it worse.
But that doesn’t mean that anybody gets to come along and make me feel bad for feeling bad.
And I’d never want to do that to someone, either.
All problems are valid. Unless you’re crying about a chipped nail or something minuscule and ultimately not long-lasting, then your problems are valid and I want you to know that.
That doesn’t mean I’m giving you permission to sit in your problems forever because they’re valid. Of course not. But I’m saying that you shouldn’t let anyone tell you off for having a problem, or five.
Valid problems to have:
- Feeling lost in life
- Out of love
- Complicated love
- Friend disputes
- Told off at work
- Under performing at work
- Not being recognised at work
- Bored at work
- Feeling uncomfortable
- Too much to do
- Being misunderstood and feeling alone
- Missing something or someone
- Past experiences having left their mark
- Confusion, worry, or hopelessness towards the future
- And much more
Do not ever let someone tell you to get over it, man-up, or shut up about your problems. If they are real to you, then they are valid.
Don’t let people tell you their problems are worse and so you can’t feel bad about your own.
Don’t let people make you feel guilty.
Don’t let people make you feel weak or stupid or anything else because of how you feel.
Only you can truly know what hurts or feels wrong and what doesn’t. What is worth the “problem” status and what isn’t.
But never allow yourself to be all consumed by your problems. Don’t lock people out (the right people); let them help you.
Do what you can to take care of yourself and address the problem.